Can somebody please edit my college essay b/c i’m sending this in a couple of days?





For the past few years in high school I’ve never actually thought who made a huge impact in my life until now. The first person that comes into my mind is my brother because he’s been there for me all these years and I’ve just never realized it. He’s the kind of person that would always offer great suggestions and advice. While growing up, he was all I got which made him such a strong role model. I developed many of his enthusiasms but also the compassion to learn new things in life. I probably wouldn’t be the person I am today if it wasn’t for him.Although my parents were barely there for me when I was a child, I’m glad my brother was there for me. If it was anyone that took care of me, I’m happy that it was him. We would usually get past the day by playing hide and seek or do something that was time consuming. I also vividly remember the time when he bought a box of gushers for a party and how I would steal a pack and then tape the box back up like nothing happened. He found out the next day and came to me dying of laughter which I totally didn’t expect. Middle school was when I developed my brother’s enthusiasm which was sports. He showed me the basics to all sorts of sports and then I decided to stick with basketball. I know I wasn’t athletic but after watching my brother’s game inspired me to be just like him. I can’t say it was an easy journey to become as good as my brother but overall I have to say it was a rough one.After all these years, I’ve attained so much. When I look in the mirror now, I see how much I’ve matured and changed, not only physically, but mentally as well. I learned how to play basketball, manners, and most importantly my mistakes. Basketball was the only other thing I had which made me who I am today. It helped me throughout life because when you’re playing basketball you need to be confident. Not only did it helped me built confidence in myself and made all these great friends in high school but helped me open up a lot. Without it I would probably see myself as the opposite of what I am, a shy indeterminate person. I’ll never forget everything my brother has done for me and cherish those moments we had together. While growing up with him, I’ve realized how we got along with each other easily. I’m joyful that he was there for me and taught me a lot and helped me achieve what I have today. He fortified my life by showing me how to play basketball and that there was more to learn just like in life. As high school days come closer to an end, college experience approaches to help me maximize my capacity. Despite the fact that I don’t have much time left, I want to spend more time with my friends and most importantly my beloved brother.



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One Response to “Can somebody please edit my college essay b/c i’m sending this in a couple of days?”

  1. pr says:

    “While growing up, he was all I got which made him such a strong role model.”Change to:While growing up he was the only person I had, which is what made him such a strong role model.”Middle school was when I developed my brother’s enthusiasm which was sports”change to:During middle school, I developed my brother’s enthusiasm for sports.