Do I have an Eating Disorder? and if so, what kind?





I know I should go to the Doctor, but right now I'm just uncertain about everything and I don't want anyone to know :(I know the different types of ED's but I want to tell you what I'm doing, and I'd appreciate your feedback on what you think I have. (Sorry for the essay)Firstly I'm a 17 year old girl, and I'm about 5'2 - 5'3 of height, and I've always been tiny in weight, I have a small body stature.I usually am about 45 - 46 kilos, all throughout my life I've been put down because I am slim, rude little remarks that would make me upset - I actually hate when people comment about my body.I just want to make sure you understand I do not think I am "Fat", but I have a very intense fear of putting on weight. I don't know why but whenever I am overwhelmed and upset, the very first thought that comes to my mind is to stop eating. No matter the situation. I feel like everything is out of my control, I have so much pressure on me and ever since I was a child I always felt like I was not good enough. Even though I have such a great family.Recently, even though I just said I have a great family, I found out my mother is cheating on my father, and it literally shattered me. I don't know why but I felt like starving myself. So I did, I have this intense fear of going over 45 kgs. I'm down to about 42 - 40kgs now, and I like it. When I eat, I only eat a little bit and I feel like such a failure because I gave into food. I have thrown up after eating but I don't do it much because it's just unpleasent. I weigh myself all day and make sure I'm not gaining weight. I'm not doing this to be thinner, I'm doing this because I don't know how to cope with everything and I'll freak out if I've put on kilos. I feel weak, dizzy, and tired so much, I can't afford to miss days at school (doing Year 12. last year of high school) and I just feel alone and confused. I'm usually the happy outgoing girl you'd see always smiling, always helping my friends out. But no ones there for me so I can't mention this to friends or family.Basically, I'm so afraid of gaining weight, I eat at the most of one meal per day, sometimes I'll give in and eat a lot but I'll feel so sick afterwards, I don't think I'm fat but I don't really wanna stop losing weight either, I like the feeling of losing weight. However I am not deathly thin. Also I recently became a vegetarian, so i've restricted a lot of meals I'd usually eat because of that.I'd appreciate if you could just tell me what this sounds like to you.Thanks.



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3 Responses to “Do I have an Eating Disorder? and if so, what kind?”

  1. handseller says:

    Well, the weird thing is, is that you don’t think your fat, so your not anorexic. I just think your under pressure and stressed with exams, and this is the outcome. But I believe your smart enough to realise that this isn’t healthy- if you carry on not eating, your just going to get more stressed, tired etc, and not do very well with exams. Everyone likes the feeling of losing weight, but there is a limit. You need to get into a good healthy lifestyle. Do you exercise at all? Exercise is a good way to put weight on in a healthy way, but to be able to do a good amount, you need to eat more!I believe the stress of generally being a teenager has got you down. Its not that uncommon.

  2. Chud says:

    This is a tough one because you dont think your fat but you wanna lose weight? your half anorexia (you wanna lose weight, and afraid or gaining weight) but in another way your not (because you dont actually think your fat), this may be just stress so try to look into some better stress managing techniques

  3. policemanlike says:

    Like the other answerer said this is a tough one, because you don’t have a distorted body image of yourself which is one of the main symptoms of anorexia nervosa. But that doesn’t necessarily mean its not anorexia nervosa or any other eating disorder. You do want to lose more weight and you’ve been restricting you food intake since you found out about your mother cheating on your father. It sounds to me like something of having control. I’ve suffered anorexia nervosa for 5 years now I’m recovering, and even though I did have a distorted body image of myself, all the starving behaviour,etc made me feel in control always. I liked that feeling, having control, I still do.Sometimes eating disorders are developed by people who are/look perfectly fine on the surface, it doesn’t necessarily have to be someone obsessed with calories or weight, or even someone dangerously underweight, since there may be people that do it for multiple reasons their lives involve. For example, I met a girl while being treated as an inpatient for recovery, she didn’t ever say she ‘was fat’ she was a straight A student, athletic and just your girl next door but her family was going through really hard times, her parents fought everyday, she switched various schools in a short time period as well as houses, finally her parents divorced and she lived with her mom but she still didn’t have stability and her mother was seeing multiple men and bringing them to her house every night, her dad completely left his role in her life. So she told me she starved herself because it gave her control of something in her life, when she lost the pounds she wanted to lose more and more. ‘It just felt good knowing I still had control of something in my damned life’ she told me once and I completely understood because I liked the feeling of having control as well.So there are many reasons why ED are developed by people, many factors, the true causes are unknown and even if they were known I think it would be a different cause for every individual because we are all different. Some may be genetic, environmental, social,etc.That being said I will do as everyone does when they see someone asking for advice in an eating disorder because those are the laws, you should see a doctor. Because this behavour can turn dangerous towards both physically and mentally.I apologize for the long answer but I just kind of wanted to make a point, I hope this helpedbest of luck : )