Is this a good opening paragraph for an essay?

S.E Hinton's "The Outsiders" is a vivid demonstration of the social differences and lives of both the Socs and Greasers. The main character, Ponyboy learns that the Soc's lives aren't all as what they seem, contrary to what his friends and family say. I'm writing my essay on how the Curtis family should stay together (Darry, Sodapop and Ponyboy) becausea. Darry is responsibleb. They have friends to rely onc. It's the only thing they have left (Their parents died)How could I tie those things into the opening paragraph without sounding jumpy? Any ideas or help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks!

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10 Responses to “Is this a good opening paragraph for an essay?”

  1. mbiiinn says:

    I would recomend rearranging the last sentance to “contrary to what his friends and family say, Ponyboy…” it flows a little better.

  2. periangitis says:

    It sounds very professional and well thought out.Just remember that you need a comma after “Ponyboy”.Go for it!

  3. purringly says:

    Explain who the Socs and Greasers are…i.e. … is a vivid description of the social differences and lives of both the Socs, who are…, and the Greasers, who are…..

  4. Mormyrus says:

    i’m not sure what your teacher prefers, but i know for my essays i usually give a brief summary of the book (like just a sentence or two..the gist of it) in the intro, then wrap up what i’m planning to say in the rest of the essay in the last sentence to make it my thesis statement. i’d say generalize a little if you want to include all those ideas in the opening..then expand on them in different paragraphs througout the essay. hope that helps a little!

  5. chmilar says:

    You can do better-who picked the topic?

  6. crudeli says:

    I would spell out what “Socs” means and put that in parentheses, so those of us who have never seen the film or read the book know what is going on

  7. illegitimate says:

    So far so good if you ask me. The next couple of lines can tie into the fact that they should all stay together because they all had something to learn from seeing that the Soc’s weren’t all that they were cracked up to be. Then in the following paragraph you can elaborate on points a, b and c that you listed. Otherwise, it may sound jumpy.

  8. cellcom says:

    I would not be so specific in the intro. Try to be a little more general while at the same time hinting at the novel.

  9. coup-de-grace says:

    I’m assuming you are in high school–probably 9th or 10th grade because I think that is when The Outsiders is usually read.The intro above leads me to believe you are going to write about the social differences of the Socs and the Greasers and how Ponyboy percieves them. If you are going to write about the family staying together, the intro should address that. Sometimes it is easier to write the body of the essay first and then write the intro after that. You have some great word choices in your writing. Good luck!

  10. SACHA says:

    S.E. Hinton’s “The Outsiders” vividly demonstrates the lives and social differences between Socs and Greasers. The main character, Ponyboy, learns that contrary to what friends and family say, the Socs’ lives are not what they seem.Note – Don’t try to cover all the material as to why the family should stay together in your opening paragraph. Perhaps you should get into that a little later in your essay as the various issues come up.