Will you read my essay? For Black History Month?

Proofread? Please (:It's titled "Inequitable Treatment"We all know about the racism that occurred around the 1960’s. I remember them teaching it to us back in 3rd grade. However, even hearing about it sometimes isn’t enough without detail. Which is why watching the movie, for me, was better. It showed all that was going on, creating a visual. It was easier to picture something when you knew what it looked like. But either way, movie or magazine, they both described how the African Americans were treated. All in all: poorly, degradingly, inadequately, and many more ways. The three main wrongdoings I witnessed were the punishment, the segregated places, and the people who made a difference in our once segregated country.It’s cruel and unfair how African Americans were treated back in the 60’s. Most just sat back and took it, but the ones that were brave and took a risk to earn their rights were often beaten, even sometimes to the point of death. They were trying to fight for what they deserved, and when they did, they suffered. It wasn’t fair to the African Americans. The whites had all their nice clothes and nice houses, while the blacks weren’t even allowed in certain places.Segregated places were some of the most common places you saw back in the 1960’s. You had isolated drinking fountains, waiting rooms, places on the buses, etc. Most of which were filthy and rundown. Nothing in comparison to the white areas. The whites had clean public places, while the blacks had to live with what they were dealt. A certain group of people called the Freedom Riders decided to go to the opposing race’s places to prove a point.However, the Freedom Riders weren’t the only ones responsible for making a change in racial discrimination. One of the most known men to ever walk the planet, Martin Luther King Jr., was one of the many who fought for the rights of the blacks. He delivered a speech titled "I Have a Dream" which came to be one of the most remembered speeches in history. Another African American activist was Rosa Parks. Though acted on one thing, her refusal to give up her seat on the bus to a white person caused such a commotion once the media caught on. There were many more: Fredrick Douglas, Andrew Young, Jesse Jackson, and even more.Fighting for our rights can sometimes be a hard thing to do. I bet a lot of people back in the 60’s believed that they, being one person, couldn’t make a difference. But today, we stand mutually, blacks and whites, and though there are some people out there who are still racist, most of today’s community doesn’t care about skin color. Because of those brave and heroic people who stood up for themselves, racism is no longer a nationwide ordeal. We now live together, in accord.Any corrections or suggestions, PLEASE share! (:

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3 Responses to “Will you read my essay? For Black History Month?”

  1. vheader says:

    It’s a nice article, and you wouldn’t want to change to much. However you might consider reviewing these suggestions:Racism occurred for a long time before the 1960s. When you write about this you might like to refer to the time before the 1970s.One of the three wrongdoings you saw was the people who made a difference in our once segregated country? Try rewording it.Generally you are beaten to death, not to the point of death.Segregated places were not some of the most common places you saw in the 1960s. They were common in certain parts of America, but in other parts never existed at all.Adding a single sentence about what happened to the Freedom Riders will strengthen your essay at this point.”But today, we stand mutually” – change mutually to together.

  2. barometric says:

    It’s very difficult to tell you what I myself would change, so i’ve just changed it and you will have to look for it yourself :P There were isolated drinking fountains, waiting rooms, and places on the buses, most of which were filthy, rundown, and nothing in comparison to the white areas. The whites had clean public places, while the blacks had to live with what they were dealt. Though she acted on only one thing, It’s very good :) You might want to remember that the whites weren’t the only problem- the Black Panther movement was a group of people who thought themselves better than whites, and agreed with the segregation. Although a lot of it was whites, blcks treated whites with the same disgust at times. You could also mention the Ku Klux Klan- white extremists.

  3. mespil says:

    1.middle of the second line (them)correct-I remember my teachers or parents or grandparents, not them. who are (them)?2.line 19 what they deserved, think about it, try the rights the the constitution of this country promised everyone.you are welcome and joe’sgreenbunny loves pc