What do you think of this sarcastic essay? Read please…it’s pretty funny! ?





My friends and I joke around with our history teacher...he's really sarcastic and funny...we're gonna give this to him. What do you think? In the schools around the world students are forced to write countless essays on unusually boring, constantly pointless topics that waste money, paper and time. Not only are we killing helpless trees that could be home to many happy furry monkeys, but many poor, defenseless kids, teens (not saying this is us, of course!) and old people are developing carpel tunnel, really! Now why the heck are our poor students’ being tortured? Just lock us in a room with rabid bunnies, for goodness’ sake! It’s much more humane! Let students use their brain juice for something more useful like…saving the smurfs. I haven’t seen a smurf in like, 7 years…let’s join together all our teenagers and go find those little blue guys! Seriously…essays? They stink. When I write an essay, I sit for hours and hours thinking of the best possible way to attack this major pain known as an essay. Now, it’s not always difficult to write essays…I will give you that, I suppose. But when one is told to be serious and not to use sarcasm…how do you even DO that?! I cannot even comprehend how to remove sarcasm and wit from a writing that is supposed to include my opinion. How the heck is one supposed to include her opinion without using any type of comical language or expression? Plus, you are the one who said, "One you go to school and get an education, you are a whore." So I guess that means that we don’t have to get an education! (that was TOTAL sarcasm right there…in case this paper isn’t screaming that loudly enough!) But, don’t think this essay is just a unique form of a complaint. After all, there are some fun things about essays. (what am I saying?!) When writing an essay, I mess up way too many times to count…but thanks to that my paper basketball aim has gotten SO much better! And also, I learned that I can, in fact, burn holes through paper with just an eraser…which will definitely pay off in the long run! AND I can NOT forget this important detail; I have learned every possible way to procrastinate including, but not limited to, recounting my toes, cleaning my room (yeah, seriously) watching boring documentaries about how toothpaste caps are made and even voluntarily doing the dishes and shoveling the driveway. I have come to find that procrastination can actually be quite amusing for parents who want their children to do their chores… In conclusion, Mr. Jackson, you are an awesome teacher. And tell me that you didn’t know we were going to give you a hard time and write this ridiculously awesome essay about how terrible essays are. (exactly, you can’t!) Sorry it's so long!



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3 Responses to “What do you think of this sarcastic essay? Read please…it’s pretty funny! ?”

  1. cervine says:

    It would be so much better if propper grammar was used and it was in essay format…

  2. boatful says:

    haha I love it :)

  3. ohtoseL says:

    Just fix the grammar, and in the second paragraph you say essay too many times in a row.. it is very repetitive. Other than that, I love it. Afterall, sarcasm is my second language. (:XxBriannaMarie